Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Request for Advancement


Dear Madam/Sir, 

It has been many months that I have been in your employ.  The following is a resume of my daily activities that will surely convince you of my qualifications for management position.

I am a very early riser and consider it my duty to motivate all of my bunkmates to seize the day by 5 AM.

Getting the big one out from under her duvet proves to be very challenging every morning, but I show strong leadership skills and get the job done.

I'm very conscientious of production and will not hesitate to take my meals on the go, promptly returning to work.

Twice a day, I am the personal trainer to my crew.  I attempt to inspire by example.  

The least motivated one is the one who needs to be exercises twice daily for his hip dysplasia and arthritis.

I keep myself tethered to the tall human so she doesn't wander off, many times we wait on the stragglers.  I never leave a man behind.

I oversee all aspects of horse feeding.

Cleanliness of one's work space is paramount and I vacuum up all food tidbits, for sanitary reasons of course.

Dedication is evident in the hours I can spend supervising a single project.

Tirelessly at my post.

Well, almost tirelessly.

I use my natural leadership abilities to escort the myopic human up and down stairs.

I hold motivational staff meetings once a week.

Fostering an environment of inclusiveness, I have an open door policy concerning my corner office.

As the farm's chief purchasing agent, I co-chair the procurement of supplies and use my keen olfactory senses to assess product quality.

My driver disapproves of some of my product testing methods, my work is my art and she is a philistine undeserving of explanations.

I avoid the perils of micro management by often inspecting the insides of my eyelids for extended periods of time, thereby permitting my staff some autonomy.

After hours, I continue my investigations, the lotus water ponds in the garden require constant monitoring. 

I take active interest in feeding the oxen and ensure they share.

Before dusk, I take my arthritic colleague back out for more exercise.

I employ various management tactics to get our sloth to raise his cardiac output.

One must never quit.

After supper, I usually drag my minion to do more work outside by flashlight.  Here I am guarding her from the moths while she cleans The Croft, our ox barn apartment.

In conclusion, my accomplishments and skills speak for themselves, isn't this the face you want directing daily operations on the farm?
Dax Smith, Eqs.

Monday, March 5, 2018

Query

How long do chickens live anyway?
March 2, 2013... a box of day old chicks arrived from Iowa.
My girls are 5 years old now!  I thought they were senior citizens, this morning Google tells me chickens can easily live to 10 years old.  

This is going to be a longer committed relationship than I had anticipated.  The Araucana lays large green eggs.  The Faverolle, Marguerite, claims to be retired.

My favorite, the Sussex, Poppy, still slings an egg every once in a while.

Back scratches for everyone.  Happy Birthday, Girls!

Saturday, March 3, 2018

Sir Peter

Don't be fooled by his Churchill like stoicism.

This guy's a clown.

Who needs a TV with him in the house?

Playing kissy poos this morning with this mug:

And blowing raspberries on that expansive belly!  
Mornings are always great with His Sire in de houz!

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Survivor Series Grand Champion

9 months old today:


He made it!  He has survived, incredibly.
The award goes to ME! I'm celebrating surviving the chaos imposed by the tiny terrorist.
I even made myself a cake.  It is a Dacquoise cake, so named for the port city of Dax in the South of France.  

6 hours from start to finish. Beginning with roasting almonds and hazelnuts, then skinning the hazelnuts--- only the French can come up with these tedious culinary tasks!!!

Whipping the eggs for the meringue.
The meringue will stay in the oven 3 hours, notice my sous chef sleeping on the job.
Three pages of instructions...I'm supposed to be cutting the meringue into 4"x10" slabs.  More challenging than I thought.
The buttercream is to die for:  basically egg yolks, butter, sugar and espresso.
I feel like a novice bricklayer trying to slather both sides of my meringue slabs with ganache and buttercream.
The kitchen is a disaster zone.
After slaving over this creation all afternoon, I must've burned at least 800 calories, right? Let's hope!
My grand prize for making it through to the Finals!
Honestly, this is my Grand Prize:

                                                 Dax 9 months old
He's pint sized compared to Cole, but my little shrimp is huge on personality.
This is Cole, back in 2009, when he was 1-1/2 years old.

Two dogs from the same bloodline that couldn't be any more polar opposites.


Whereas Cole was aloof and a total mama's boy, Dax doesn't know a stranger.

I suppose I should be grateful he's on the small size at 52 pounds.  If he were Cole's 70 pounds, he'd be unmanageable.

He's been 'helping' me catch ladybugs.

I'm chagrined to say he's skipping the release portion of the plan.

His prey drive is through the roof.  Driving with him can be a full contact sport if he spots a squirrel, bird, deer... be prepared to hit the ditch if he sees a cat!

Other times, he's a little cherub.

If it weren't for Peter, I'd have strangled the little turd months ago.



What's endearing to me is Dax's total lack of respect for personal space, thankfully, Peter agrees.

I should've named him Velcro.

Even two minutes alone in the smallest room of my house is a separation not tolerated.

He's glued to Peter or me.

He's teaching himself how to climb ladders.

Not a skill he should probably have.

He's determined not to be left behind.
All the more reason to acknowledge how important Peter is in this dynamic.

His contributions are immeasurable.

He's being bashful, but there's no doubt the only reason we still have a couch in the office is because Dax is OK if left with Peter.

Same deal at home.  It's been a few weeks that I've been leaving Dax loose in the house while I'm working--- and I return to... a home, miraculously.
Today, we packed up the crate we no longer need.

How is it little monsters can become gentlemen?!?

No telling what adventures the next 9 months will hold.

From helping me dig up plumbing lines to swimming in the lake after work.

He's not the companion I wanted, Lord knows I reminded him of it far too often, but he's the little guy I needed.  Damn him.