Sunday, July 16, 2017


"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all."  Helen Keller

Up until Saturday, my shadow had been at my side, no matter the heat, no matter the hour, regardless of how boring it was to be a mechanic's helper.


Friday was the last time he felt like hunting.

Saturday morning, this grotesque but manageable tumor was twice the size.  That's when he told me he was ready to go.

I've watched horses and dogs grieve, profoundly, for their lost mates.  While I worked up the courage to dig a grave, Cole 'slept' on a blanket on the couch so Pete and Garrett could process his passing.  Allowed me to procrastinate for hours too, not until having to take him off the couch that it hit me like a freight train. I wasn't able to dig.  
Then I reached for all your texts, Facebook messages and emails.  My therapy, my refuge, my joy comes from the written word.  You may not have known what to say, but you said all the right things.
It got me and Pete through the hardest thing I've had to do.  

Garrett went and hid, refusing to come out.  But, Peter never left us, watched me with those big eyes for hours.

He cried and cried when he thought Cole was stuck in the hole.

No doubt that I couldn't have done it alone.  I'd still be in the hole bawling my eyes out if it hadn't been for Pete.  

The love and loyalty of a dog knows no bounds.  Pete knew Cole was there and wouldn't leave.

He'd acknowledge me when I called to him,

but wouldn't move.  I left him for the longest time, thinking he'd come in on his own.

He had to be pulled out of the garden around 10 PM. 
On the saddest day of my life, I was given the gift of seeing that love transcends it all.
My life will always belong to my noble dogs.


  1. Jamie, I sobbed when I read about Cole yesterday and cried again reading this today. I'm so so sorry for your loss, but what a great dog he was! Sending thoughts to you and all of your 4 legged animals who loved Cole. Xx

    1. he was better than I deserved for sure

  2. ❤️❤️❤️. Praying for you Jamie.

  3. <3 I don't feel that I have adequate words... but please know I'm thinking of you. <3

    1. I have the best Kansas family. Thank you.

  4. Though it's not rational and technically twice the pain, it's strangely comforting to know that someone else is feeling it just as bad as we are. Sounds like you need to take care of Pete. And he's taking care of you now. You're very strong. Cole may have been a teacher but you're a teacher to me. Hope to have the strength and grace to do as you did when it's time for my buddy. Kisses to all three of you.

    1. Kisses received. We're not acting graceful today. Work is getting done by shear strokes of luck.

  5. this makes me so sad. I hate seeing the animals grieve too. but they know. lots of hugs!

  6. Somehow I missed this post...maybe that was a good thing for me as I'm crying all over again now. I don't know how you do it. The puppy is cute...but oh Cole...