Urban Dictionary: v. the act of starting at one end of a room, ripping a nasty one and dusting the room with the stench, thus staying ahead of your own flatulency.
GUILTY as charged.
Peter picked up the foulest bug a few weeks ago. The poor old man is around 14 years old. It kicked his butt.
The first night, I thought it was indigestion (he has a penchant for acorns and horse nuggets). Next night, he leapt out of bed 5 times and burst out the doggie door into the dark. Peter doesn't ordinarily move at Mach 1, so this was serious. Dr. Brown prescribed supportive antibiotics and he continued to redecorate the house in the worst diarrhea I've ever seen. Think pumpkin puree with swirls of ketchup in it and the stench of Muenster cheese.
Three bottles of Clorox cleanup, mounds of latex gloves and 3 laundry loads a day...
Days of this culminating in the most atrocious act committed upon my leather couch: a blow out. Peter dismounted from the leather couch, slowly, front feet first with a downward dog stretch that provoked an explosion out the rear.
He was ashamed of having his bum washed 5 times a day and I was tired of my nostrils being assaulted every time I stepped foot in the house with the mixed smell of an overchlorinated pool and an outhouse in Summer.
But Peter was turning the corner when two others started to defile the house. Baby Jesus save me.
The cholera has departed our lives now, all the walls at anus height have been washed, curtains too (don't ask, I have no idea how they soiled so many things while I was at work).
And check out who's feeling froggy again?
