Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Request for Advancement

Dear Madam/Sir, 

It has been many months that I have been in your employ.  The following is a resume of my daily activities that will surely convince you of my qualifications for management position.

I am a very early riser and consider it my duty to motivate all of my bunkmates to seize the day by 5 AM.

Getting the big one out from under her duvet proves to be very challenging every morning, but I show strong leadership skills and get the job done.

I'm very conscientious of production and will not hesitate to take my meals on the go, promptly returning to work.

Twice a day, I am the personal trainer to my crew.  I attempt to inspire by example.  

The least motivated one is the one who needs to be exercises twice daily for his hip dysplasia and arthritis.

I keep myself tethered to the tall human so she doesn't wander off, many times we wait on the stragglers.  I never leave a man behind.

I oversee all aspects of horse feeding.

Cleanliness of one's work space is paramount and I vacuum up all food tidbits, for sanitary reasons of course.

Dedication is evident in the hours I can spend supervising a single project.

Tirelessly at my post.

Well, almost tirelessly.

I use my natural leadership abilities to escort the myopic human up and down stairs.

I hold motivational staff meetings once a week.

Fostering an environment of inclusiveness, I have an open door policy concerning my corner office.

As the farm's chief purchasing agent, I co-chair the procurement of supplies and use my keen olfactory senses to assess product quality.

My driver disapproves of some of my product testing methods, my work is my art and she is a philistine undeserving of explanations.

I avoid the perils of micro management by often inspecting the insides of my eyelids for extended periods of time, thereby permitting my staff some autonomy.

After hours, I continue my investigations, the lotus water ponds in the garden require constant monitoring. 

I take active interest in feeding the oxen and ensure they share.

Before dusk, I take my arthritic colleague back out for more exercise.

I employ various management tactics to get our sloth to raise his cardiac output.

One must never quit.

After supper, I usually drag my minion to do more work outside by flashlight.  Here I am guarding her from the moths while she cleans The Croft, our ox barn apartment.

In conclusion, my accomplishments and skills speak for themselves, isn't this the face you want directing daily operations on the farm?
Dax Smith, Eqs.