CHESTER
Resume
Objective: To obtain a position with a well established household with housing and large yard possibilities.
Employment History: I'm currently interning at a Russell county farm. My previous job is top secret and cannot be declassified. My current employer had been, for weeks, tracking my comings and goings on the farm with game cameras and by tracking my unique front paw print (three toe print). As I have been in between job, I had been subsiding on horse nuggets. Offered this intern position required sacrifices: I traded in my family jewels for 4 square meals a day.
Bio: 5-6 years old, currently 60 lbs, but aiming towards a healthier 70 lbs.
Neutered.
Microchipped.
Received a full dental cleaning.
1 year supply of heartworm preventative.
1 year supply of flea and tick treatment.
On a one month regiment of antibiotics to rid me of erlichiosis.
Full blood panel test shows me to be fit as a fiddle.
Wisdom Canine DNA Test results back at end of September will probably show that I am a Black and Tan Coonhound Mix
Skills: Sit.
Recall.
Stay.
Watch the couch doesn't try to leave.
Expert grass tester.
Patience when elders are conferring.
Gifted copilot.
Housebroken. My employer has been complimentary of my urinary restraint. Thanks to my great recall skills, I am no longer subjected to performing my #2's for an audience on the end of a leash, as I prefer my privacy.
Attentive and alert. I have been escorting my boss lady on her nightly property domicile security checks.
Eager to please and congenial with my coworkers.
Easy to bathe.
Intrepid. Will leap into a large body of water while two of my colleagues are washing boats, even if my swimming skills are rudimentary at best, but I don't mind when they jump in to try to rescue me.
Loves to ride in utility vehicles.
Unproven skills: Sociability with cats (aren't they like raccoons who can be treed, except they have claws?).
Sociability with other dogs. Upon first encounters, I am quiet, calm and non reactive.
Reasons for Inability to Stay in Current Internship:
My employer states that the farm is already overstaffed and I am over qualified. Plus, The boss' kid is a monster, but aren't they all? The old timer that has been there for eons keeps trying to attack me. And the white one, called 'window licker', whose intellectual challenges grants him permanent status.
The Boss's attempts at finding out my previous employer failed.
My coworkers have tried in vain to convince the boss to sack the three resident canines and let me take over all three jobs, but alas, they are vested and I must find a forever home elsewhere.
Thank you for taking a moment to read my resume and considering my qualifications as they could benefit your pack, Chester.
