Wednesday, July 21, 2021

Crispy

 Two weeks ago, my computer freezes up during a proctored exam.  The next day it crashes, then my cell phone follows suit.  The computer tech figures it's a virus and cleans my computer and updates my anti-virus.

I get a new phone since the original is too flawed to rescue.,. 

A week later, the new phone goes missing on Friday afternoon. I trace its timeline and it clearly shows that it left the property at 4:30 and ended up 30 miles away.   


Later, Google maps narrows down were it is to an exact spot on a railroad track.  I take off looking for it.  
.

No luck.  Meanwhile, I'd filed a police report and combed the farm looking for the phone.  
Saturday night, someone hacks into my bank account and sets themselves up as admin.  I've had the most wicked headache for 4 days now.  Sunday was spent trying to nail every asset and account down.  Exhausting.  To be doubly safe, I froze all my accounts on Monday morning.  Overkill?  I think not.  The bank called Wed morning to say someone is still trying to access my account.  So, this is more than a computer virus.  This is WAR.  One of my dearest friends tried to spur me on, he calls me his "guerrera", Spanish for warrior.  Problem is:  I'm done.  Overworked, sleep deprived, discouraged, defeated.
Wednesday morning, the phone is found on the property, where I had thought I had looked.  I'm assuming I've been so frazzled, or concussed,


 that a pink elephant could've been sitting there and I wouldn't have seen it. I have no words (well, I do, but they'd make a sailor blush).
So, while I was initially concerned about a stolen phone, I SHOULD'VE been focusing on the hackers that are trying to pry my hard earned money out of my accounts for probably 2 weeks now.  
I'm not winning at anything anymore.  Every problem I resolve, two more knock me down.  I'm as fed up as I've ever been.  School isn't going well.  Every time I'm supposed to be studying, Murphy's Law messes with me.  I can't remember the last time I had a decent night's sleep.  
Everything looks so bleak right now.
Tuesday, I went to get the pin pulled from my surgery finger.  I drove to Columbus with a 5' rat snake hiding in the cab of the truck.  He'd escaped from the pillowcase I had put him in the night before, thinking I would relocate him on the way to town.  (Sorry no pics, had no phone).  He eventually poked his head out from under the seat while I was coming back from town.  We argued a little bit, but he disembarked-- finally.

Not so good news about the finger: infection has set in the bones, surgeon casually mentions that my end finger bone is lysed = eaten up by bacteria= missing.  Seriously?!?
My pinkie finger throbs all the time now, the end of it wiggles like a worm because there isn't a bone in there anymore and it's back to poking out in the wrong direction.


I had initially told them, 6 months ago, to whack the end of it off, it seemed too complicated to do surgery to save a shattered pinkie.  Instead, I'm going to be on antibiotics for 6 weeks and they'll probably have to whack it anyway to keep the infection from spreading.  I wonder if I can get a handicap parking placard since I'll be an amputee!  I'm trying to make jokes, otherwise, I may just load up my camping gear, never to be seen again.
To salvage my day off today, I left the barn at 10 AM to take my dogs for what was to be a pleasurable bike ride around the farm.  I'm beebopping through puddles and mud, it's all spraying up on my legs and my face.  But wait, that's not mud, it's fresh cow paddies. All over the place!


The storms from the night before knocked trees down on the neighboring rancher's fences.  Tracks show over a dozen cows loose on the property.  Can I call the rancher?  Nooo, my cloud was also hacked and I've lost most of my contacts.  I have to call a number I remember to have them call someone else to finally call the rancher.  Meanwhile, I'm sitting on my bicycle, watching cows run around the lake, through the trees,  like little fat wood fairies. I get word from Luke and Vannah that they have some on their side around the tennis court.  "Push them away, keep them from damaging the lawns".  Too late.


That's it.  I quit.  
The rancher calls me back, he's 4 hours away.  Gully washer of a rain storm pops up, we all run/bike back for cover.  




The rain we rode through mostly washed off all the cow poop the dogs had rolled in, mostly.  The rain did nothing for Suki though.


Little darling had rolled in a dead fish while waiting for me to get off the phone on the other side of the lake.  Like I felt like giving 3 dogs a bath at this point.  
I might actually get to crack a book today.


Or not.  A month ago, I alerted the power company that we were all experiencing brown outs in our area.  They monitored my meter for a couple weeks and called today to tell me, thanks to my observations, they're replacing and upgrading equipment at our substation.  Fantastic, right?  Not really.  Be prepared for blackouts while they swap transformers in about a week....  You mean when I start to write my final exams?  You mean while I have 2 sick horses in their air conditioned stalls during the day.  That's frigging lovely.  Repairs should take 3 weeks.  Are you @%&-ing me??  
I'm sitting at my desk writing this blog post, with cow poop still all over me from this morning, because I haven't had time to shower, or eat today. Between trying to coordinate with the rancher about his cows, that Vannah and Luke are now trying to lure back to their own property, and being on the phone with Verizon for over two hours.


Verizon wants one of the phones back.  They'd prefer the newest one, but they can't figure out why they can't reactivate the old one. BECAUSE I'VE BEEN HACKED, THAT'S WHY!!! I'm on a conference call with 4 techs now, they won't listen to me, eventually they'll figure it out.  While I'm on hold, I type to vent, and I look at the cow poop on my legs and wonder if I even care anymore. 


Nope.  Don't care. 
I get this picture from Luke:


He says the cows have them blocked in.  Vannah packs a .45... this is my suggestion
Stick a fork in me, I'm done. Overdone, carbonized, crispy.